I find clutter in ALL aspects of life. Clutter comes in so many different forms and once you identify it as clutter it’s easier to phase it out of your life. Clutter could be a lack of communication, too much communication, overcommitting and not allowing space in your schedule for sex, letting old stories tell you that you are not sexy (sex and mental clutter, a bad combo!), too many partners?, too many distractions?, Kids, physical clutter in your bedroom, cluttered body language between you and your partner?
I love working with couples to de-clutter their homes. Now I only bring up communication clutter when it’s appropriate, as I know this can affect a couples sex life, and when I know they are open to my suggestions. Let’s just say most sessions don’t head in this direction, but I truly believe it’s an important topic that is generally swept under the rug. When I have the opportunity I take it and run… It’s so rewarding to open up my clients eyes to the nonphysical clutter in their home and watch their relationship transform. My dream clients not only have a beautiful home after the process but have learned to de-clutter their life, opening up space for experiences and a lot of good beautiful sex!
During a girls weekend I dared each woman to send a sexy photo or message to their partner. You could see the fear and stress set in. One had never sent a picture to her husband so she snapped a quick selfie of her at the bar. She laughed thinking he would think it was strange. Within moments, he’s text poured in, asking how the night was going and raved about how beautiful she looked. It’s not about sending something over the top or ultra-sexual, sometimes it’s just about doing something outside of your personal comfort zone to remind the other person you care. One of the other girls was even picked up as a surprise at the airport by her partner. He had a huge bushel of flowers for her, which was something that was not typical for her. All of these stories make me so happy! Small acts of love go a long way in a relationship and in the end will energize your sex life!
Seemingly simple tips towards a less-cluttered sex life, take a moment to hold your partner. Try a 60 second hug, make out – bring it back to middle school days… and don’t feel like you have to have sex after. Understanding your love language and your partners is another great way to evolve your sex life. If he likes touch and you like words of affirmation you want to make sure you are giving your partner what they need and desire. Don’t let cluttered thoughts discourage you from trying something new. It may be uncomfortable at first but you are in this relationship to grow and find the depths of what feeling worthy and loved is…right?
It’s Wednesday better known as hump day…which means that you have the rest of the week to de-clutter your sex life and maybe find a new level of passion.
Image via Pinterest, artist unknown
Sarah Parisi – The Clutter Curator
Chicago’s Premier Home Organizer